


Pilot Error

by inkfishie



Series: Constant Satellite [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Keith is a potty mouth, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 14:56:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7319698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkfishie/pseuds/inkfishie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“I don’t know if I can be who you expect me to be anymore,” Shiro admitted, voice thick and muffled. “I’m not even sure if there is anything left of that person.”</i><br/>Keith and Shiro come to terms with Kerberos and what it means for them moving forward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I literally haven't written fic in over 10 years, but I just couldn't get these guys out of my head. I have fallen into fandom hell in a way I haven't since I discovered Trigun. Cripes. Anyhow, here's my take on Shiro and Keith's reunion and their back story. Rating may go up in the future as more chapters are added. Forgive me for any errors, I don't have a beta but I did my best :)

The Fight with Sendak had taken a lot out of them. Not only had they nearly lost the castle, and the lions, but they had nearly lost one another. With Lance still recovering from the blast in the control room, and new repairs being made to the castle, once again they were at a standstill. Keith had been doing his best to keep himself busy, but there was only so much he could do to help. Pidge and Hunk, being more technologically and mechanically minded, had taken on most of the repair work; Assisting Allura in ridding the castle of the lasting effects of the Galran crystal.

And while Keith had managed to constructively fill his time, Shiro seemed to be struggling. Outwardly, there was little indication of it and the older paladin had appeared to be focused on his tasks; helping as best he could with the repairs to the castle, and checking with Lance and the others to see how they were doing. It wasn’t out of the ordinary in the slightest.

 

Keith however knew better.

 

Several times now he had followed Shiro down below the well-used upper decks of the castle to where Sendak was being held. There the older Paladin would glare at the Galra officer for hours. Sometimes he would speak to the creature, other times he would simply stand there in sullen silence. But whatever objective Shiro was trying to accomplish, Keith could see that a storm was brewing just beneath the surface of the older Paladin’s grey eyes.

 Shiro’s smile was brittle, stretched just a bit too wide; tone just a touch too congenial not to send warning bells ringing in Keith’s ears. Simply put, it was a front. It was the ‘Brave Face’, the one that Shiro had worn the night he’d told Keith that he was going to Kerberos. The one he’d worn when he insisted that the whispers about them had nothing to do with his leaving, and that it was ‘For the best’. It was the face of the silence between them, as what they had become lay heavy and unspoken them in the chill of the desert night.

Time had not eased the sting of it for Keith in the slightest. Shiro had been dead for a year, and that storm had yet to pass. If the older paladin remembered that night at all, he had given no indication of it. Not in all they days since he and Keith had been reunited. Though, to be fair the entire world had shifted on its axis. From leaving Earth, to the discovery of Voltron and the far-reaching evil that was the Galra Empire. It was a lot to process, and if Keith knew Shiro at all, the older paladin was very near a breaking point. Sendak being in the castle did not help matters at all.

 But Keith was unsure of what it was he could do. The ease that had once been between them was strained now, and he wasn’t quite sure how to fix it. Though if Keith were being honest with himself, this had all started long before Kerberos and Shiro’s capture by the Galra.

 

Still. He had to do something. The question was, what?

 

On a ship as big as the Castle of Lions, it should have been easy enough to have a private conversation with one of its very few inhabitants. But other than following Shiro to the detainment deck, Keith had found very few opportunities to get a moment alone with the older paladin. And even if he were to manage it, how exactly was he supposed to voice the concern that had gathered like a hard, twisted knot in the pit of his stomach? Keith scowled, rolling over on his bed to face the wall. He’d been at this a while, this trying to think of something. A glance over his shoulder at an Altean clock told Keith it was late enough that the others were likely long asleep by now.

Shiro was much better at this sort of thing, this finding of the right words to say; even if they were hard words to say. At this rate, Keith knew he was in for a sleepless night, and with a huff he threw himself upright and reached over the edge of his bed for his boots. If he was going to be awake, he may as well be doing something useful. The training deck was a good option, Keith often found that the best way to clear his head and center his thoughts had always been a good bout of physical exertion.

 

Right.

 

That decided, Keith padded out of his quarters and down the crew deck toward the lift that would take him to the training hall. He found himself stopping short at Shiro’s door however, as if staring at it would bring him the answers he was looking for. Presumably, the older paladin was in there, and Keith wondered if maybe he was just as sleepless and plagued by the endless spinning of his thoughts. He wondered if maybe Shiro was thinking about that night in the desert, or even remembered it for that matter. He wondered how, if things had been different, how _they_ might have been different. He thought of Shiro’s face, placid and smiling and plastered across every news broadcast as it was announced that the crew of the Kerberos mission had been lost.

 

_It’s good to have you back.._

 

The hard, tight knot of anxiety that had formed in Keith’s belly was suddenly in his throat. He drew in a deep, shuddering breath, only to be startled by the door of Shiro’s quarters opening with jarringly loud whoosh. Keith was unsure of what expression must have been on his face, but for a split second Shiro’s was a mirror of it because he looked as wrecked as Keith felt in that instant. A moment later though and it was gone; Schooled into frowning concern. Keith swallowed heavily, pinching his tongue between his teeth in frustration whilst glancing aside and down the hall.

 

“I--Sorry, I was just passing by, I didn’t-- Sorry.” He began after a long pause, glancing up at Shiro.

 The older man for his part examined Keith silently a long moment before replying. “Its fine, Keith. You just surprised me a bit. I didn’t think anyone was still awake.”

 “Same,” Admitted Keith. “I was going to the training deck” He explained, watching as Shiro nodded in tired acknowledgment.

 “Something on your mind then?” It was less of a question and more a statement. But there was a weight behind Shiro’s tone that had Keith frowning just a bit. And Shiro, as if sensing he’d pushed the conversation too far too fast quickly added: “You were quiet at dinner, you always want to hit things when you think too hard. You didn’t even take the opportunity to insult Lance.”

This was the moment Keith had been waiting for, he realized, and whether Shiro was aware or not, he had given Keith the opening that he had been looking for. But the words stuck in Keith’s throat, subverted by all those other unspoken things that he couldn’t give voice to. He wasn’t sure what to do with any of this. Not with this uneasy mess that lay between the two of them, or the storm behind Shiro’s eyes, or even the silence that stretched out awkwardly between them in that moment. Keith just wanted things to be as they had been. Before Kerberos, before the smirking looks and accusations. When it had just been the two of them and the rest of the world be damned.

Finally Shiro gave a tight, little laugh; humorless and brittle.

“That good, hm?” He observed quietly, the corner of his mouth curved into a cynical half-smile.

Keith frowned. This wasn’t Shiro. This was the mask that he put up to keep the others at a distance. Who did Shiro think he was talking to? Keith wasn’t some idiot stranger who didn’t know any better. Anger flared sudden and hot inside Keith, sharpening his tongue in his mouth. It flashed out before he could stop himself.

“Would you just stop it already!” He snarled. Above him, Shiro’s face registered shock, but even so it wasn’t enough to make Keith stop. Not just yet. “I’m not an idiot, Shiro! You may have everyone else fooled, but I know you, in case you had forgotten, I know something is going--”

“--Keith. Stop.” The command was stern and unforgiving. Enough to halt Keith in his tracks, enough to make him realize that he had nearly been shouting. This was not how Keith had imagined this going. He hadn’t really imagined it at all, but even so shame had his cheeks burning and he looked aside; trying to tamp down the hot spark of anger.

“I’m not sorry,” He blurted, perhaps a bit childishly. And then, despite himself added almost apologetically. “I’m just-- I want to help.” Above him, there was a long silence. Then Shiro sighed. When Keith glanced up, Shiro was watching him, brows knit and his expression almost sad.

“Why don’t you start by coming in and not shouting the entire castle awake?” Shiro said quietly.

It was a start, Keith supposed, and better than the strange tension that had grown between them. Moving warily inside, Keith wasn’t surprised to see that Shiro had kept his quarters up to Garrison-standard cleanliness. It had been the same back home, in their little cabin. Here though, the only concession to the room being lived in, was that the bedding was folded neatly atop the mattress. Shiro had also pulled the chair out from the small table in the corner of the room to face it toward the door. Didn’t want his back toward the only entrance, Keith realized. It was likely that the older man slept with his back to the wall as well, and the thought had Keith shuffling to a stilted halt.

Behind him, Shiro released a soft, resigned sigh. Keith imagined he was likely drawing himself up, preparing for whatever it was Keith was going to say. Keith wasn’t entirely sure he was ready to speak just yet, and closed his eyes, focusing his thoughts. Eventually came the sound of Shiro’s footsteps, and then the sound of the chair being drawn out. By the time Keith opened his eyes Shiro had settled himself, seated backward with his arms folded over the back of the chair.

“You’ve been pretending everything is fine for days now. It’s not.” Keith said, hoping that he’d gained enough control as to not sound combative. The anger he’d felt earlier was still itching just beneath his skin. The last thing Keith wanted however, was to start a fight.

“We’ve been through a lot,” Shiro began at length, calm despite having been caught out. “I’ve been through a lot. There hasn’t been time to stop and process any of it. We’re all under a tremendous amount of stress right now.”

 

It was an evasion.

 

Keith wasn’t stupid. It was some text-book response, meant to skirt the issue while appearing to discuss it. It was complete and utter bullshit.

 “Screw that!” Keith snorted. “You know damned well that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about you, Shiro. Not Captain Shirogane, not the Black Paladin, not the Shiro you are to them. I’m talking about my friend, my Shiro.”

And laid out like that, Keith couldn’t help but feel the old hurt; The hurt that had been festering for days now at being shut out and ignored. He just wanted to help, and Shiro, damn him, was too stubborn to even see it. But this was only a small part of the larger problem. Keith wasn’t sure how to even tackle the rest of it when what was in front of them now was difficult enough.

Across from where Keith stood, Shiro was frowning now. Thoughtful, as he decided what he was going to say. Beating him to it however, Keith took and abortive step forward, fists clenched so that he wouldn’t reach out for the older paladin.

“Takashi,” He pleaded quietly. “Please. Let me help you.”

That seemed to shake something loose in the other man, because Shiro drew in a sharp breath and glanced aside. Lifting his mechanized limb in an unconscious gesture, he scrubbed the metallic fingers through his cropped hair. He stopped however, pausing to glower at the limb as if it were not his own.

“I don’t know if you can.” He admitted, pained. Then his grey eyes were pinning Keith in place.The storm was still there, raging un-tempered. But for the first time, in a long time, Keith felt like he could reach into the eye of it and shake Shiro free. He seized the chance.

“Then at least let me try! You can’t keep on like this, it’s tearing you apart. They might not see it, but I do. I know you better than that.” Keith said, taking yet another step closer.

Slumped forward in the chair, Shiro really did look as though he was being pulled apart. Stripped of the mask, all that remained was a tired sadness. Whatever it was that he had suffered over the course of the past year had left this in its wake. It was too much for just one person to bear alone. Not even someone as strong as Shiro. Keith would be damned if he let the other paladin give up after all this, and after a momentary hesitation, he closed the distance between the two of them and reached out to set his palms atop the defeated curve of Shiro’s shoulders.

For a moment, Shiro tensed. But then he was going lax, his head bowing forward into the cradle of his own arms like a puppet whose strings had been cut. Then, there was a subtle tremor that Keith might’ve missed had he not been paying attention.

“I don’t know if I can be who you expect me to be anymore,” Shiro admitted, voice thick and muffled. “I’m not even sure if there is anything left of that person.”

It felt like a kick in the gut. Keith’s fingers tightened their grip on Shiro’s bowed shoulders. He felt Shiro tense in response.

“I’ve done such terrible things. They’ve turned me into this...Thing. I had no choice. I had to survive,” A pause, and then Shiro loosed a terrible bark of a laugh. “Maybe it would have been better if I--”

 But Keith didn’t allow Shiro to get that far. He cut the statement abruptly, before the dark thought could be completed. “Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that!” It was too much. And Keith had spent the better part of a year mourning Shiro as dead. And there had been times when it would have been easy to just pack it all in and give up. But he hadn’t. Keith wouldn’t let Shiro either.

 “If you say that to me again I swear I will kill you myself,” He spat, letting anger get the better of him. The anger was better than whatever it was that was twisting a hard lump in the base of his throat. And Shiro, for his part, slumped further in his chair, silent and defeated.

 “I don’t care about any of that,” Keith finally said, once he’d reigned himself in. “You came back. Whatever else we can figure it out. We can work past it. Together if you want. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. You came home, Takashi. You came home and that’s enough.”

 Maybe it wasn’t eloquent, and it didn’t even begin to capture all that Keith was thinking or feeling in that moment, but perhaps it was enough. It had to be enough. Shiro for his part seemed to be thinking what Keith had said through; silent and sullen. Keith was again reminded that he had never been good at this sort of thing. Shiro had always been the one to offer comfort and caring when the world went topsy-turvy. Though the troubles they had faced as children seemed to pale in comparison to what they were facing now. Keith sighed, fingers skating up Shiro’s shoulders to card through the long strands atop the older paladin’s head.

 It wasn’t until Shiro stiffened that Keith realized he’d just laid waste to a barrier that he hadn’t known had been between them. He paused a moment in a flash of trepidation. But then Shiro was huffing out a low grunt of displeasure and turning into Keith’s touch. Okay. Right. And after a moment’s hesitation Keith resumed his ministrations. The effect was almost immediate, and it wasn’t long before the tension in Shiro’s body had bled out entirely. Keith marveled at the change.

“You used to do this for me when we were younger,” He said quietly, after a long silence.

“I remember,” Shiro replied into the cradle of his arms. “You used to be scared of everything. You’d always hide away until I came looking for you. You never did like asking for help.”

“Neither did you,” Keith returned with an indignant huff, even as he carded his fingers through the white fore-lock at the front of Shiro’s head. Shiro meanwhile had loosed a quiet laugh that was so much like his old one that it squeezed something in Keith’s chest. It had him smiling.

“Look,” He began after a moment, while his fingers scraped down over the cropped hair behind Shiro’s ears. “You know how crap I am at this sort of stuff. But I really do want to help, Shiro. So even if it’s just this, just let me, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Shiro replied; Soft, and satisfied.

It was as much of a win as Keith could’ve expected. The smile on his face grew a fraction, and something inside him eased a bit. The knot that had been there didn’t feel so tight anymore. Shiro was not so distant as to be unreachable. It was a start.

“What’s that for?” Shiro asked, nodding toward the smile and interrupting Keith’s thoughts. Blinking, Keith glanced down to find Shiro watching him in speculation, one dark brow cocked upward in query. Schooling his own expression into something more neutral, Keith shrugged even as he reached out to pinch one of Shiro’s ears. He earned a swat for his troubles, so he pinched the other one.

“Nothing, it just feels better now,” He said. “I missed my friend. He was too busy shoving his head up his own ass to notice that I was worried about him.”

“Your friend sounds like an idiot,” Shiro replied, wearing a bit of a smile. “You should’ve hit him upside the head or something.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Keith agreed. “But he’ll come around eventually. I’m pretty stubborn. ”

“He’s lucky to have a friend like you, most people would have given up by now.” The older paladin said at length, pinning Keith with a long, searching look. It made Keith squirm a bit and he was suddenly unsure of how to respond. He was afraid of back peddling, of moving back out into stormy seas, especially when they had gained so much ground. Opting instead to spring toward more stable footing, Keith shrugged and continued to card his fingers through Shiro’s hair.

“Yeah, well, even if he is an idiot, he’s family. So if he thinks I’m going to run away when he needs me most he’s a bigger idiot than I thought.” The admission had a slow grin blooming across Shiro’s face, crinkling up the long, white stripe of a scar that crossed the bridge of his nose. It reminded Keith that there was still work to be done, problems and hurts to be addressed. None of this had changed any of that, or even really fixed it for that matter.

 

For now though, it felt a little easier.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

A few days later though it appeared as though they had gone back to square one. Keith hadn’t been stupid enough to think that the storm had passed, but he had hoped that it had gotten better. After their initial conversation, both he and Shiro had slipped into an easy closeness that was almost as it had been back in the days before Kerberos. They had spent the night trading old stories, and enjoying one another’s company. Keith had eventually fallen asleep seated on the floor by Shiro’s bed, and when he’d awoken a few hours later he had found himself draped in in the blanket from Shiro’s bed. The older paladin had been gone, but that wasn’t unusual. Shiro had always been an early riser.

But there hadn’t really been time since then to regroup, from Lance nearly losing his Lion, (It was always something with him.) to the incident with the Balmera, Keith really shouldn’t have been surprised when Shiro finally lost his cool and lashed out. What had been shocking though, was that he’d done it in front of the others.

With Allura resting, and Coran seeing to the princesses’ welfare, it had just been the five of them of late frequenting the dining hall. Despite the stress of the past few days, the other’s seemed to be in fairly good spirits. That night appeared to be no different. Pidge was animatedly explaining her research of the Galra crystal to Hunk, who listened carefully, while Lance piped in every now and again. Keith, for his part, was only half involved with the conversation; Interjecting only when goaded into it by a certain blue paladin. Shiro, while paying attention to the proceedings, was otherwise silent. Had the conversation not been about Galra tech, Keith was fairly certain the older man wouldn’t have been interested in the slightest.

“--So I think if we can harness the energy and reverse the polarity we might be able to create a shield that can absorb the Galra pulse weaponry and there-by render it useless!” Pidge was saying triumphantly.

“Useless? You mean those canons they have couldn’t hurt us?” Hunk burst in between bites of his food.

“What part of useless didn’t you understand, Hunk?” Lance replied before Pidge got the chance.

“It’s only in the beginning stages, but I think it could work. We’d have to come up with a way to amplify it, but between you and I, Hunk, we should be able to do it,” Pidge interrupted, while throwing Lance a dirty look. The other boy of course was oblivious and Keith rolled his eyes as Lance shrugged and went on.

“Well I guess something like that would be pretty useful for you three.” He said, straightening up in misplaced confidence. Keith snorted at that.

“Yeah, right. Because you haven’t taken a hit just as much as the rest of us.” Keith shot back, levelling the blue paladin with a glare.

“All I’m saying is that not all of us were star pilots back at the Garrison.” Lance shot back, looking far more smug than he had any right to. And just like that, it was on. Keith shouldn’t have let Lance provoke him, but there was something about the other pilot that got under his skin. Anger flared hot and sudden, and before Keith could stop himself he was rising to the bait.

“Oh right. Like you’re a star pilot. The only reason they bumped you up was because my spot was empty. You rode in on my damned coat tails.” He shot back, only to become all the more infuriated at the seemingly serene smile on Lance’s stupid face. Distantly Keith was aware of Pidge and Hunk trying to disarm the situation, but it didn’t stop him from seeing red the instant Lance opened his mouth again.

“Yeah, well you ran away to go live in a run-down shack in the middle of freakin’ nowhere. What’s that say about you, Mr. Star Pilot?”

 That. Was _it_. Keith was on his feet before he realized it. And while he knew Lance was only pushing his buttons, it didn’t stop him from moving toward the other boy with his fists clenched in rage.

“That’s _IT_. I’ve had it with you!” Keith shouted, even as Pidge and Hunk scrambled to get between himself and Lance. Had it not been for the heavy slamming of fists on the table from where Shiro sat, Keith might’ve strangled the other boy. As it was, all four of them stopped in their tracks, startled by the sudden explosion of noise to whip their head’s in their leader’s direction.

“Keith! That’s _ENOUGH_!” Shiro shouted, livid. Keith doubted the others had ever seen anything other than Shiro’s placid expression because even Lance was shocked. None of them had missed that Keith had been the one who Shiro had singled out either. For a second Keith’s anger directed itself toward the older paladin. But then, swallowing heavily and with nostrils flared, Keith willed himself to stand down. He slumped visibly, then dropped into his chair with all the grace of a petulant, defiant child. For a moment he and Shiro locked eyes, then it was Shiro who was glancing aside, face red.

None of the others said a word, though they all wore similar expression; most likely trying to deduce what sort of mine-field they had all unwittingly set foot in. The moment stretched long, and then with a disgusted grunt Shiro was turning and stalking away. It was several ticks before anyone dared move or speak.

 “Well. That was...” Pidge began sheepishly.

“What’s eating him?” Hunk asked, brows raised in concern.

“Wow. He was pissed.” Finished Lance in surprise.

 Keith simply let out an explosive growl of frustration and pitched forward to aggressively pull at his own hair. The others exchanged a glance, then all three were watching him expectantly.

 

“ _WHAT!_?” Keith exploded.

 

“What’s his deal?” Lance asked calmly, as he sat back down to his meal.

“Oh gee, I don’t know. Maybe he’s sick of you being a complete and total dumb ass?” Keith shot back sarcastically.

“Then why’d he yell at you, oh smart one?” Lance queried, his brows raised rather archly.

“Just leave it, Lance.” Pidge interrupted, even as she cuffed the blue paladin hard in the shoulder.

“Ow! Hey!” Came Lance’s response. Meanwhile Hunk had sat back down as well and was trying to puzzle out what had just happened.

 

“He does seem to take things out on you first.” Hunk observed. And he wasn’t wrong. It was just the way it had always been. Shiro had always held Keith to a higher standard. Likely because he knew what Keith was capable of when given the right focus. It wasn’t that big of a deal. Except when it was, much like now.

“We grew up together. He’s always been like that.” Keith said simply, as if that explained it all. The other three had older siblings. They should have understood. Instead they were all goggling at him as if he’d just said that he was a wild Yelmore.

“You grew up together?” Lance repeated, dumbfounded.

“Isn’t that what I _just_ said?” Keith snapped back, frustrated.

“Like kids? Together?” Lance continued.

“How else do you think I mean!?” Keith shot back, the anger welling back up again.

 “Guys, come on,” Pidge cut in, but then went on. “It’s just a little surprising. I guess we all just thought you knew each other from the Garrison.” She finished.

“He joined up when I was ten,” Keith explained begrudgingly. It wasn’t as if it were a secret. It just made him feel a bit...Uneasy. Divulging this shared history. But the others were clearly waiting for him to go on, if their rapt expressions were any indication. Sighing heavily, Keith decided it was probably for the best.

“My parents died when I was very young. I was in an out of homes for a while, mostly because I was-- Well, difficult. Eventually I was placed with Shiro and his aunt. He looked out for me, so I decided to stay.” He explained. It hadn’t been nearly as simple as that of course. But Keith had always liked to keep his cards close to his chest. What he didn’t tell them was how much he had come to love the home that he’d been welcomed in to, or the people that had made it. It was his, and while it hadn’t been much, he had always loved that little house on the edge of a barren, desolate wildness. Lightyears away now, Shiro was the only thing Keith had left of it.

“When I was old enough I joined Galaxy Garrison as well.” He finished at length. Of course by that time, Shiro was already something of a legend amongst the denizens of the Garrison. With a solid reputation to keep, and several key missions already under his belt, Shiro had been well on his way to earning a top commission by time he graduated. To say that first year of them both being in Garrison hadn’t been a little strained was an understatement. And by the time the two of them had come to and understanding on how to navigate this new dynamic of theirs, things had become a bit...Precarious. Many of Keith’s fellow cadet’s had been more than a little curious as to the sort of relationship a young captain could possibly have with a lowly cadet.

“Well, that sure explains a lot!” Hunk exclaimed, drawing Keith from his thoughts. Beside him Pidge made a soft, thoughtful hum and nodded.

“I always wondered how you knew one another.” She began. “I mean I knew you knew each other, everyone knew that. But you left shortly after I started. But I was always curious, you know? I mean, I didn’t think anything like--Well, you must know. But I knew it couldn’t be like that, that sort of thing is against the conduct codes and Shiro is a codes kind of guy and-- Err--Well, Maybe I’ll just..Stop now.”

And there it was, glaring Keith right in the face. It was why Shiro had run to Kerberos, it was why they’d fought on that last night right outside the house that they’d grown up in. But that was between Shiro and himself, and not something that anyone else had any business to be part of.

“I should go after him.” Keith finally said, choosing to skirt the issue that Pidge had so gracelessly addressed. Embarrassed, she nodded and turned to her plate, looking rather abashed.

“Good idea!” Hunk piped up brightly, attempting to ease some of the tension now lingering in the room.

“Yeah, I’m going to do that.” Keith said, frowning as he stood and strode away from the table. Turning, he strode from the dining hall though behind him he could hear Lance suddenly pouncing on the conversation, as if he’d finally just caught up to it.

“..What sort of _things_? What conduct codes?” But then there was a squawk from him as he was hit, and a hissed word from Pidge for him to just shut up.

 

Frowning, Keith moved out of the dining hall and made his way toward the lifts. There were three likely places that Shiro might have gone and Keith decided to check the training deck first. But it bothered him that the others had known about the rumors. If they knew, perhaps the situation _had_ been as bad as Shiro had made it out to be all that time ago. Of course Keith had been aware of them, even if it had only been peripherally. He had never bothered himself with the particulars though, because in the end it didn’t matter what anyone had thought of the nature of their relationship. Keith knew how he felt. He didn’t need to hear it from someone else.

He suspected, that it had boiled down to jealousy. Shiro had always been well liked and respected, and as a top-ranking student and talented officer it wasn’t a stretch to imagine that some had thought his attention toward Keith had been inappropriate in nature; That Keith’s own top marks were somehow influenced by what he and Shiro were supposedly doing behind closed doors.

But Shiro had always gone to great lengths not to show any sort of favoritism toward Keith. In fact, he had been harder on him than any of the other cadets during their various trainings together. It wasn’t as if Shiro’s superiors hadn’t been aware of their shared history. Still, the old hurt reared its ugly head and Keith couldn’t help but think that if the rumors had been true then maybe things might not have been so... Strained in those weeks leading up to Shiro’s departure to Kerberos. Keith felt his face heat a bit at that; a nervous little swoop roiling through the pit of his stomach as he came to the door of the training deck. A sudden unease gripped him. But it was gone in the instant Keith discovered that Shiro was nowhere to be found.

Right. One down, two to go. But Shiro wasn’t in his room, nor was he haunting the dimly lit detainment deck. Of the last Keith was relieved. He wasn’t sure how he would have reacted to finding Shiro glowering at their Galran prisoner yet again. Feeling a little disheartened that he had yet to find the older pilot, Keith wandered a bit aimlessly. It was as he was passing the lab that Pidge poked her head out meekly to suggest Keith check the hanger where the black lion resided.

It galled him a bit that she would have any insight into where Shiro was hiding. Still Keith had grunted in thanks, and turned to head in the direction she had suggested. Pidge had been right of course, and Keith spotted the older man shortly after making his way in to the cavernous space. Approaching quietly, Keith took the opportunity to simply watch Shiro. Sat at the base of his lion, Shiro’s long legs were stretched out straight; his arms folded defensively across his chest. He wore his classic brooding expression Keith noted as he drew closer. His dark brows, knit in consternation, pinched further as he glanced up at Keith. He was decidedly unsurprised that he’d finally been caught out.

“I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that,” Shiro said once Keith was within hearing distance. Shrugging, Keith drew up short, pausing near where Shiro’s feet rested in their scuffed boots.

“I probably deserved it.” He replied, indifferent. Keith hadn’t come for a fight. It was a peace offering, he hoped Shiro would take it.

“Maybe,” Shiro admitted, half-heartedly “But a captain shouldn’t shout at his cadets like that though.”

 

The snort of disbelief was immediate.

 

“Yeah, except we’re a hell of a long way from the Garrison, _Captain_.” Keith shot back hurt, and with more venom than he’d intended. From the floor Shiro glanced up sharply, brows pinched in a sudden, dark scowl.

“Is there something you wanted to say to me?” He asked. Between them, unspoken, the word ‘Cadet’ hung in the air. It was a trap. Of course it was a trap. Keith could see the anger simmering just below the surface of Shiro’s deceptively calm expression. Still, it didn’t stop him from falling for it; hook, line and sinker.

“Are you going to run away to some back-water moon again if I do?” He shot back bitterly, and regretted it almost immediately. Shiro’s eyes narrowed, and carefully he hauled himself to his feet. There was no way for Keith to salvage this, and so he stubbornly stood his ground, even as Shiro moved into his space. The glare was something lesser cadets had quailed at, because when pushed, Captain Shirogane was a force to be reckoned with. Toe to toe now, Keith drew in a defiant breath and returned the look with a scowl of his own.

“Do you want to say that again?” Shiro finally asked, tone even and dangerously calm, though his voice had dropped to a lower, more gravelly register. Anger reverberated through every breath Shiro pulled in, and it was then Keith realized what sort of crash course they had navigated themselves on to. But there was nothing Keith could do to stop it, they’d come to some sort of precipice and had been flung off by circumstance alone.

Feeling suddenly out of depth, and with little to no control over himself, Keith gave to the tumult of emotion; every hurt, every shred of animosity and bitterness that he’d felt since Shiro had told him that he was leaving came bubbling un-checked to the surface. All the things Keith hadn’t given himself permission to think about and to process in the wake of their being reunited, all the things he’d wanted to, but never got the chance to say to Shiro-- It was all there in a jumbled, tangled mess.

“You were dead, Takashi!” He finally blurted, ashamed of the way his voice cracked and of the way his face flushed hot and red. It made him feel like a child. “You ran away and then you were dead. And all for something stupid that a pack of idiots thought about us!”

In that moment, Keith understood the compulsion to run. But still he pushed on, hopeless and defeated. “They said you were dead, and all for what? Your reputation? Christ, Takashi. Is that all I meant to you?”

Above him, Shiro had gone still. Keith wanted to hit him. Or hold him. He swallowed hard, trying to push his heart back into its ribcage; Trying to force his expression into something that wouldn’t give him away. And had he not glanced up to see Shiro’s stricken face, Keith might’ve fled the hangar entirely. The older pilot looked...Wrecked. His rage had left him, replaced by stunned shock. Posture shifting from antagonistic to protective, he pushed further into Keith’s space and it was his flesh-and-bone limb that caught Keith by the arm to hold him in place.

“Is that--” He began slowly, pausing to take a breath, and then continuing on. “Is that what you think, Keith? That I ran away because of my reputation?”

“Yes!” Keith snapped. But even as he said it, he knew it wasn’t true. “No,” He amended. “Maybe. I don’t know! You never asked me how I felt about any of it, you just did it and that was it!”

 

And then Shiro had been gone. Lost or dead; a smiling photograph splashed across the evening news.

 

_Pilot Error._

 

The tears, when they came, horrified Keith entirely. Pinching his eyes shut against the burning, wet itch of them, he couldn’t stop the soft, pained sound that slipped from between his pursed lips. Somehow it was fresh again, this aching misery. This was how it had felt without Shiro. It was like he was gone again, and all the things that Keith had hoped and longed for were again beyond his reach forever. Stupid. He was so stupid.

If this was what it felt like to love someone, then Keith didn’t want it anymore. He’d barely survived it the first time. It was better lost and buried on shit hole planet light years away. He didn’t want it.

The tears were falling in earnest now, and Keith bowed his head against them, unable to hide or flee. He wasn’t aware of Shiro moving closer, of the arms winding around him and pulling him into the orbit of another warm body. Then there was a hand in his hair, a gentle voice breathing into his ear.

“I left because I was trying to protect you, Keith. It was never about me. They said such horrible things about the way we were together and it was all my fault.-- I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“Yeah, well I did.” Keith said, hiccupping on a jerky gulp of air.

“ I know,” Shiro conceded, sadly. “I know. I’m sorry.”

There was nothing for Keith to say in response to that, nothing he could say. Instead he found himself wrapping his arms around Shiro and clinging to his warmth; an anchor amidst all the chaos inside of him. He was only vaguely aware of the soft words of comfort Shiro hummed against the curve of his ear. Encouraging and gentle, Keith let them wash him in warmth.

Finally, after a long while Keith felt himself starting to return to a more even axis. Shiro was still speaking to him quietly, nose pressed into the hair by his temple. It was nice. Keith loosed a shaky sigh, and while he wanted to draw back to regain a bit of his composure he didn’t move just yet.

“..Better?” Shiro asked after a few more ticks, voice quiet. His lips moving against Keith’s hair tickled a bit and Keith found the sensation to be a little overwhelming.

“Yeah, I guess.” He replied, unevenly. The hoarseness of his voice had him frowning in sudden embarrassment. He allowed himself to be kept close a moment longer, and then he was drawing back; creating a space for himself to breathe and scrub at his eyes. Shiro however, remained close, head bowed so that their foreheads touched.

“I got your shirt wet.” Keith observed needlessly a moment later for want of anything better to say.

“Yeah,” Shiro agreed, mouth curling up into a small smile. “But it’s not like it’s the first time.”  It was true enough, and Keith felt a bit lighter as he too smiled.

 “Jerk,” He proclaimed, even as he eased into the touch of warm fingers at the base of his skull.

 

The quiet that stole up then was an easy one, and Keith allowed himself to drift quietly, comforted by Shiro’s presence. The older Paladin was quiet as well, seemingly content with the rare moment of peace they had found. Again Keith felt as though things between them had gotten better. It was, he realized, something that he supposed could only happen in increments, where they both were required to trade their hurts for pieces of understanding. Still drifting quietly, he was somewhat startled when Shiro pulled back; the coolness of mechanized fingers tipping his chin up.

“Hey. Wake up, sleepy head, you’re too heavy to carry all the way back to your quarters.” Shiro said, tone hushed. Keith could hear the smile in it, but he didn’t look just yet, instead opting to roll his shoulders in a stretch and draw in sleepy breath.

“What if..I want you to?” He asked, perhaps a touch coyly. Keith popped an eye open, watching for Shiro’s reaction. The older paladin simply huffed out a quiet laugh. But not before sliding his hand back to hook it around Keith’s neck, drawing it forward so that he could drop a kiss to the top of Keith’s head.

“C’mon, I’ll walk with you,” He was saying as he turned to go, leaving Keith to process belatedly what had just happened. He flushed suddenly even as he scrubbed a palm over the top of his head. It took him a tick or two before he had the sense to go after Shiro, but of course by that time the older man was already at the doors of the hanger, watching in bemusement as Keith hurried to catch up.

 

“Just shut up,” He grumbled as he shot past, face still hot. Shiro simply smiled, and followed after him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again apologies for any errors, they are mine because I wont ask my old-lady friend to proof this as she keeps insisting this pairing is called Sven/Mullet. She refuses to see the greatness that is new voltron lol.Mostly because she is cranky and old and loves that gremlin voice Pidge rocks in the original. Anyway, enjoy. Oh, and if anyone can tell me how to easily format the text on here so it's not all weird and blocky and oddly spaced out that would be helpful lol

 

 

As with the night a few days prior, Keith found himself standing outside Shiro’s door. Unsure of whether or not he was welcome inside, he shifted his weight anxiously between the balls of his feet. He didn’t particularly like the idea of parting company with Shiro just yet, but wasn’t sure how to voice the request to stay. In the end it was the older pilot who took the pressure off Keith by inviting him in.

 The spot atop Keith’s head where Shiro’s lips had touched scant minutes ago still tickled and felt electric. Not trusting himself to speak just yet Keith moved inside quietly, noting the time on the Altean clock on the wall. It had grown late during their time in the hanger and Keith suspected the others were well into their usual evening routines. Idly he wondered what Shiro would be doing had he not been invading his space. The older man was moving about the room; pulling off the belt slung about his hips to hang it on a metal peg affixed to the wall, then he was moving to the bed to sit so that he could pull off his boots.

 That accomplished, Shiro then bent forward to watch Keith. There was nothing particularly provocative about the way he was sitting. But the line made by the rounded curve of his spine, and the way his long arms draped between the parted V of his thighs had Keith’s face heating in a sudden flush. From where he was sat, Shiro arched a brow in query.  Still, his tone was kind as he sat back and beckoned Keith closer.

 “Hey, C’mere,”

 There was a change happening. Something between them was, and had shifted irrevocably and Keith wasn’t sure of how to navigate that change. It left him feeling ill and ease and out of his depth. Still, he pulled off his own jacket and set it aside as he padded closer to sit beside Shiro on the bed. A warm palm rose to set itself on Keith’s back between his shoulder blades. It rested there a tick or two, then Shiro was pulling Keith into the warmth of his body with a crooked arm. Tension that Keith hadn’t been aware he’d been holding on to bled from his body and he slumped against the older paladin with a sigh. This was nice; comfortable.

 “I thought about this a lot,” Shiro began quietly, once Keith had settled. “I thought about what would happen if I saw you again, about what I would say to you.”

 “You probably didn’t imagine a space castle, a ten-thousand year old princess and robot lions though, huh?” Keith replied, opting for sarcasm over the tightness in his chest. He had thought the very same things. Over and over and over and--

 “No,” Shiro said with a laugh, interrupting Keith’s cyclical thought. “I don’t think I did.” Then the black paladin was turning to bump his nose affectionately against Keith’s temple. It wasn’t entirely outside the realm of ‘The Things They Did’, but it had been so long since anyone, let alone Shiro had been so physically affectionate with Keith. It left him feeling a little lost, a little like he was outside of himself. And Shiro, sensing his stillness, brushed his lips against Keith’s hairline.

 “Okay?” He asked, concerned.

 “Yeah,” Keith replied as he glanced up to offer Shiro an apologetic look. “I’m just..I don’t know. I never thought I would see you again. I never imagined what would happen if I did.” He confessed.

 Shiro, for his part, seemed to understand. Perhaps, Keith thought, he was just as much at a loss as Keith was as to what was supposed to come next; what they should do now that they had untangled some of the knot between them.  This unknowing, this lack of direction, it was almost as frightening as loosing Shiro had been. Keith had spent so long wanting a thing that he thought he could not have, and now that it was in his hands he didn’t know what to do with it.

 Beside him, the older paladin made a soft, thoughtful sound and then was pressing closer; tipping Keith’s chin up with cool, mechanized fingers to catch his gaze.

 “Hey,” He said, tone gentle, speaking even as he touched their noses together affectionately. “We can figure it out, can’t we? Together, right?” Shiro asked, borrowing Keith’s own words from their conversation several nights previous.

 There was a sudden tightness in Keith’s chest, punching the air from his lungs. For a moment he thought he might do something so stupid as to start crying again, but swallowed heavily instead to reign in his emotions. This was _his_ Shiro. His Shiro who was patient and kind beyond measure. Nothing could steal that away, not Sendak or the Galra or a thousand Galra ships.

 “Idiot.” He finally shot back, his own voice sounding loud in the hush between them. Then, before Keith allowed himself to think about it, he was pushing forward to press their mouths together. It was an impulsive move, but Keith had waited days and days to finally, finally have this opportunity. The gamble paid off, and Keith sighed into Shiro’s mouth even as the older pilot loosed a groan of his own and returned the kiss. It was gentle; unhurried. When they finally drew apart, it was Shiro who huffed out a tremulous, surprised laugh.

 “I wish I’d thought of that, too.” He admitted longingly, reaching out to skate the cool pad of his thumb over the curve of Keith’s jaw. Leaning in to the touch, Keith found himself hungry for more contact.

 “Can I stay?” He blurted suddenly, breaking the quiet of the moment. And Shiro, face splitting into a toothy grin, huffed out another soft chuckle. Keith felt his face heating. He hadn’t meant to sound so…Eager, so juvenile. Feeling suddenly clumsy, he attempted to separate himself from the older paladin. Shiro however reeled him back in by capturing Keith’s face carefully between his palms. Embarrassed, Keith scowled and struggled to extricate himself.

 “Yes you can stay,” Shiro began, chuckling. “Relax, Keith. It’s just me. You’re okay.”

 “I just -- I need a second,” He shot back, angry. But Shiro had already released his hold to allow Keith his space; giving him a moment to process and gather himself. Keith just needed a second to sort through the jumble in his head. It was a long moment before either of them spoke. It was Shiro, lovely patient Shiro, who eventually broke the silence; smiling as he leaned into Keith to nudge their shoulders together.

 “Let’s just get some sleep, okay? We can figure out the rest tomorrow when we’re both fresh.” He suggested, grey eyes warm despite their searching expression. It was probably a good idea, Keith decided. It had been a bit of a rough evening.

 “Okay,” He agreed more warily than he intended, eyeing Shiro as the other paladin hauled himself backward atop the mattress to settle himself. Frowning again, Keith wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself. It wasn’t as though he had never shared a bed with Shiro before. But that had been decidedly different. It hadn’t seemed so...Intimate. It was something of a relief when Shiro again took control of the situation by making light of it.

 He’d sprawled himself out across a large portion of the mattress, his muscular arms tucked up over his head and his long legs stretched out to cross at the ankles. He’d also stolen both pillows for himself, and Keith snorted in annoyance as he took note of it. Eyeing first the plush stack tucked behind Shiro’s head, then Shiro himself, Keith frowned at the older pilot. Shiro meanwhile simply arched a dark brow in response. And when that didn’t seem to spur Keith into a reaction, he even went so far as to waggle both his brows at Keith in sly suggestion.

 Silence reigned for several ticks, then Keith was exploding into movement. Red-faced he snatched a pillow out from under Shiro’s head and walloped his bedmate in the face with far more force than was strictly necessary.

 “Screw this. I changed my mind, I’m out. Bye, bastard.” He growled, angry.

 Beneath the pillow, Shiro’s laughter was muffled, but then the older paladin was shoving it aside so that he could breathe. The smile he wore damned near stopped Keith in his tracks. It had lit up the whole of his face beatifically, causing slender crinkles to appear in the corners of his laughing, grey eyes.

For Keith, It was like a punch in the gut which sent a spike of longing so fierce zinging into his core, that he floundered. He swallowed hard, staring. But Shiro was right there, catching him against the ferocity of it and dragging him down to press an anchoring, chaste kiss between furrowed brows.

It wasn’t until he was laying down that Keith thought to toe off his own boots and kick them off the edge of the bed. That accomplished he twisted about, making himself comfortable against the long, sinuous line of Shiro’s body. When Keith finally settled he found himself being drawn closer by solid arms, and a blanket was pulled up around them. Tucking his nose against the steady pulse point at the base of Shiro’s throat, Keith drew in a deep, steadying breath. Above him, a small tremor ran through the older pilot’s body. Then Shiro was dropping his own chin against the top of Keith’s head where his steady breathing ruffled the hair there.

 This was nice. It was very nice, in fact. For the first time, in a long time, Keith felt largely at peace with himself. So for a while he allowed himself to drift, reveling in the warmth and comfort of being with Shiro like this. But a niggling thought came to him, and once there it interrupted the gentle lassitude of the moment until Keith itched to voice it.

 "Shiro,” He whispered. And when no immediate response came he tried again. “Takashi. Hey. You awake?”

 This time there was a deep, leonine rumble of assent from the older pilot and a tightening of his limbs that had long since gone lax. But now that Keith had Shiro’s attention, he wasn’t sure exactly which words would sound right. In the end frustration won out and he simply began to speak.

“Takashi, I just-- You know I--” But he didn’t get that far.

“Yeah, I know,” Shiro interrupted, tone solemn. “I’ve known a while now. Since before.”

 

_Since before._

Before Kerberos.

 

_Oh._

 

Keith’s heart juddered violently in his chest, even as his own arms tightened around Shiro’s body unbidden. There was nothing to say to that, so Keith didn’t even try. But Shiro continued to hold him through it, until eventually the both of them had fallen asleep. When Keith awoke in the morning Shiro was still curled protectively around him.

This time it was Keith who left Shiro to sleep as he rose to go about his day. It was the best he had slept in years.

 

 

****

 

But contrary to their agreement to ‘Figure it out tomorrow’, life in the Castle of Lions never went exactly to plan. Not when it was discovered that the Galra crystal that they had been researching had been slowly spreading its poison throughout the ship’s systems, and eventually caused them to go haywire. It had very nearly ended them all, and by the time it was realized what was going on they had been faced with a star about to go super nova.

There hadn’t been any time. There hadn’t been time at all. Not for Keith to voice any of the burning fear or anxiety he’d felt when he’d realized that Shiro was missing, nor had there been time to ascertain whether or not the older pilot was okay in the wake of his meltdown on the detainment deck. Keith had seen the distress on Shiro’s face, had seen the sickly pallor of his skin. But there just hadn’t been the time.

So Keith had shoved it aside and swallowed it down. The others were depending on him and needed him to be the Red Paladin. Because if Keith had stopped to think; stopped to feel any of the terror trying to claw at his sense of composure, he might have done something very reckless and stupid. A mistake was something that they just could not have afforded, their lives all depended on it.

Somehow though they had survived, if only just by the skin of their teeth. In the aftermath Pidge had been the first to break down in the wake of the adrenaline crash. Hunk and Lance had followed next in their own ways. Even Allura, despite her calm had faltered. It had taken a long while to regain the peace and bring everyone back down. But even after all the smoke had cleared, after they had all parted ways to process the ordeal separately, Keith was still vibrating with pent energy; keeping himself boxed and small inside his own head. Stalking off, he had abandoned Shiro to the hushed conversation he was having with Allura in the control room.

It bothered Keith a bit that the older paladin hadn’t come as well. So much so that a sharp, irrational stab of jealousy caught him up. He clenched his fists, suddenly wanting to hit something. But the thought of the training deck turned something in his stomach and left Keith feeling sick. So he stomped off to his quarters. Once there Keith blustered inside and threw himself on his bed with a growl.

He still felt jittery, angry even. Growling out in annoyance Keith tossed off his gloves, followed shortly thereafter by the vambraces he wore on either arm. The rerebraces came next, which he pulled off even as he jumped upright to pace a few furious circuits about his room.

He slumped down in the chair at his desk, feeling itchy and out of sorts and unable to sit still. It was intolerable. Loosing an explosive string of curses, Keith jumped to his feet, and tossed his gaze in the direction of the ensuite bathroom. A shower seemed like a good option. But the thought of water pounding against his skin just then was almost unendurable.

 

He had to do something. _Anything_.

 

Where the hell was Shiro? He should’ve been there, Keith wanted him there.

Scowling at that, a frustrated sound slipped free of Keith’s throat. Then, because it seemed like the thing to do, Keith kicked out at the chair he had just been sitting in. It clattered across the floor in a loud, dissatisfying explosion of sound. So Keith kicked the desk as well but hated the tumult of noise it made. The sounds bled together, loud and confusing in his ears. Had he not spun around to see Shiro standing at the door he might’ve found something else to lay waste to. But the older Paladin was watching him warily, and it gave Keith pause.

Shiro’s posture was neutral and non-threatening, but it was his expression that gave him away. Concern was warring with a bone-deep weariness that made the older paladin look incredibly tired and worn-out.

Keith swallowed hard, and unsure of what would happen if he were to move, he held himself still. There was a coiled spring of tightness inside of him on the verge of snapping, so Keith closed his eyes against it; pinching them shut so tightly that sparks of color began to form against his closed eyelids. It wasn’t until he heard Shiro’s soft command that he remembered to breathe.

 

“Easy, Cadet. Slowly. In and out,”

 

Somehow it was easier following an order in that moment. Less room to think, or question anything beyond what he was being told. Instinctively Keith followed the instruction and listened intently as Shiro guided him through several rounds of slow breathing. Distantly Keith was aware of the older Paladin moving closer.

“Keith,” He said, soft and cautious. “I’m going to touch you now, it’s just me, okay?” Then there were warm fingers at the back of Keith’s neck, pulling him forward and drawing him close.

Keith allowed himself to be pulled into the press of Shiro’s body, and he sighed out a tremulous breath even as he dropped his head to rest it against the base of Shiro’s throat. The older paladin had changed in to his every day clothes, Keith noted, if not a bit hysterically. He forced himself to maintain a normal breathing pattern.

 “Easy does it, it’s okay now.” Shiro said, soft and encouraging.

It really wasn’t okay though. Not just then anyhow. Soon perhaps it would be, but at that precise moment Keith felt himself shaking apart. But the scrape of fingers against his hair was good and the thrum of Shiro’s pulse against Keith’s skin was an anchor; Easing the chaos of jangled nerves and proving that they were both still here and alive. After a few ticks Keith felt calmer and the overworked muscle in his chest felt as though it were no longer trying to pound its way out of his ribcage.

 He straightened up, dragging his forehead along Shiro’s chin until the older pilot’s lips were soothing the crease between Keith’s brows. It was an intimate gesture, which had Keith releasing a soft, surprised groan. A burst of sudden longing swooped down to pool low in Keith’s gut.

 "Shiro,” He said softly, surprised by the neediness of his own voice. Meanwhile the older paladin was pressing the pad of his thumb caressingly over the curve of Keith’s jawline.

“You’re okay now, Keith. I’m here with you. We’re okay.”

 

 _Here_.

 

It reminded Keith that Shiro had not been there moments ago, that he had been elsewhere. Again, irrationally, there was a stab of jealousy. It had Keith shifting up and backward so he could pin Shiro with a questioning look.

“What did Princess Allura want?” He demanded, tone sharp. It must’ve taken Shiro by surprised, because the older pilot leveled Keith with an arch-browed look. Quick as lightning though, he must’ve keyed in to what was going on because his expression smoothed out into something more careful, more calculated.

“She didn’t _want_ anything. _I_ wanted to make sure she was okay.” Shiro said, if not a touch on the scolding side. Unbidden, the image of Shiro and the Princess caught up in an intimate embrace came to Keith’s mind. It was stupid and absurd. Keith knew that. Still, the passing thought was nearly enough to send him wild again. He bristled, going hot all over. But before a treacherous word could find its way from his constricted throat, Shiro was reeling him back in; pressing his nose to Keith’s temple and coaxing his rigid posture into softness once more.

“Hush, you know it’s not like that. I had to tell her about what happened with Sendak.”

 

 _Sendak_.

 

That’s right. Shiro had been alone on the detainment deck with their Galran prisoner. His face had been so pale when Keith and the others had found him.

“Shiro,” Keith said suddenly, pushing away to fix the older paladin with a hard look. The panic he had felt hours ago upon discovering that Shiro was missing and in potential danger was back in force. And despite the fact that they were safe now, that Shiro was safe now, all Keith could see was that stricken expression that had been on Shiro’s face when he and the others had finally discovered his whereabouts.

“What happened with Sendak? You weren’t making any sense before. You said you could hear him.” Keith pressed, worried. Above him Shiro’s expression hardened. Keith could see him shutting down and closing himself off. So it was a surprise when the older paladin eventually responded.

“I don’t-- I’m not sure if it was him, or what the crystal poison did to the ship.” He began, voice hushed. “I was trying to find answers, something we could use. But I heard him, Keith. It was like he was in my head. He knew things. He knew what to say to make me--”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner,” Keith interrupted suddenly, unable to bear the way Shiro’s features had contorted into such an agonized look. Reaching out, Keith wound his arms around Shiro’s shoulders and pulled him close. For a second it seemed as though the older pilot would not tolerate the embrace because he tensed at Keith’s touch. But then Shiro was sagging against Keith’s body, wrapping Keith snuggly in the circle of his solid arms.

His breath was warm against Keith’s neck, if a bit stilted. He made a soft, pained sound and it was enough to send a sharp painful twist right into the space beneath Keith’s ribs. Tightening his arms around Shiro’s body, Keith turned to press a fierce kiss into the older pilot’s temple.

“Whatever he said, whatever he tried to make you think, it’s not true. It’s not.” Keith snapped, furious and protective. He was angry. At both himself and the situation. He should’ve been quicker; better. Shiro deserved better than this.

“He said I was a monster.” Shiro admitted, soft and broken.

 The rage was instantaneous. It flared bright and unchecked and Keith could do little to stop the feral growl that erupted from his throat.

“ _Fuck_ that shit!” He exploded. “You are the kindest, most self-less person I have ever met, Takashi. Whatever happened, whatever they did to you, it doesn’t change any of that! Anyone or anything that says different can take it up with me!”

It was perhaps, a juvenile statement. One made in the heat of the moment with little consideration as to how it might come across. Still, in that instant Keith was ready to take on the whole of the Galra force if he had to, if that meant easing some of Shiro’s distress. Keith was still bristling as Shiro pulled back to fix Keith with a resigned look. His eyes were a bit red, his long, dark lashes damp.

“I think you’d have a hell of a time doing all that by yourself,” he said, mouth curling into a soft, sad smile.

“I don’t care,” Keith shot back waspishly. “They hurt you. They need to pay for it.” And Keith found that he would tear the entire universe apart to do it if he had to. But Shiro’s nose had wrinkled at that, and Keith watched as the older paladin made a low, annoyed grunt. Then he was drawing forward to touch their foreheads together.

“I won’t have you doing something stupid for my benefit, Keith. I will not risk you to petty revenge.” He said, pinning Keith with a hard look. “I already lost you once, I can’t do it again. Do you understand?”

Quailing under the weight of Shiro’s gaze, Keith pinched his eyes shut and huffed out a resigned breath. Of course he understood. There was nothing he understood more dearly. But for Keith the loss had happened far before the day that Shiro had boarded that ship to Kerberos. For Keith it had been a slow and agonizing descent into a hell which had left him with nothing in the end.

Now though, there was a chance again. It could be made right. Because Shiro was here and alive and as whole as he could be given the circumstance. It was enough, Keith realized with a shock. It was enough and he felt his anger leave him like water swirling down a drain.

 “Yeah. I understand.” He finally replied. Shiro’s relief was palpable. It colored his voice when next he spoke.

“Good. That’s.. Good.”

 

****

 

The next morning, after they had fallen asleep wrapped around one another, and after they had weathered waking to their own nightmares, Keith had risen to a new day. The Galra Empire still needed stopping and the universe still needed Voltron. There was still pain to face, and hurts to ease, but for now Keith was relieved to find that the storm that had been raging in Shiro’s eyes finally seemed to have passed. The rest, they could figure out together.


End file.
